Don’t know …
Hello, how are you? Maybe you are not the person like me who falls for the same girl everyday, who seeks her attention everyday, who asks God for the same girl everyday, who hopes for her message instead of getting only replies.
Have you ever been stuck in an empty feeling? I am asking this because I am quite familiar with it. It’s been tedious and repetitive. And this time it has become a part of me. I am used to it now. But anyway it’s quite hard to spare the sorrow. I always ask myself. What is there in you that I can’t see in others, can’t find in others? And I am still searching for that. Why is it so hard to leave you? You are not the first person I have fallen in love with. It wasn’t like this with others. There was always something that I could make excuses for. But this time, I can’t find any.
I don’t know what I find in you. I don’t say you are the most beautiful girl I have ever met. I don’t say you are the perfect person I fell in love with. I don’t say you are the intelligent girl I have met. I don’t know whether we are going to look perfect together or not. Maybe you are 9/10 in all or maybe it’s your magic spell. I don’t know what happens to me when you make your hair. I don’t know why I find peace in your smiles. I don’t know why I get lost in your eyes. I don’t know what is in your voice that I only want to listen. I feel like I am stuck in time. I feel so happy to see you smile, make you smile. Do you remember Shahrukh Khan in Om Shanti Om when Deepika looks at him and he just gets lost in those looks and smiles? I am the same person that used to tell, what nonsense. Now, looking at those scenes I feel like, ”Yes, it’s me”. I don’t know what is there that tries to keep me with you, that doesn’t let me forget about all those feelings. I have never felt like this before. In this case, you are the only one. And I can count that accurately.
I know I can’t love you forever like this one-sided. I have no idea when and how this is going to end. Either we, together, are going to laugh reading this in the future or your eyes fill with tears realizing that I have loved you for 60 years or maybe I, alone, will look in the sky and say, “I will try again in our next life”. You had told me that time is going to heal everything. And it wasn’t yesterday or a week ago that you said. It’s been several months. I am looking forward to that time but I don’t see it coming.
You are kinda, sorta, basically, pretty always on my mind. I want to grow old with you. I want to count stars with you. I want to visit every place with you. I want to listen to your voice all day and night. I want to spend every waking moment, making you realize how amazing you are. How precious and special you are to me. It’s like you are the sun and I am day. If I am the sun, you are my light. I make importance, if you exist. Or I will be like a day with no sun or the sun with no light. You are absolutely gorgeous. You have everything what should be in a good human being. Don’t try to change yourself. And don’t forget I am here to fall for your every smile. I can’t explain in words how I really feel seeing you. I don’t know if this is going somewhere or stays right here being good words. I don’t know whether you are realizing or me only trying to describe someone who is ineffable. Only thing I can do now is promise you to love till my last breathe. Don’t know how you feel reading all this. But, I am trying to write about you, feelings of mine and trying to predict unseen future. Take care🥰🥰🥰
